it's all about timing

When I was little, I hated when people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had no idea, except knowing I wanted to be a Mommy! I was surrounded by teachers, so I assumed that was what I should be. I never had a passion for it, just figured it was the correct answer. So much so, that I began my college career as an Education major. That lasted one semester. Actually, one class, until I realized I had no desire to teach. So I changed my major to psychology, with the hopes of doing something to help people. Still, not really sure what that meant.

After Rebecca's birth I began attending Spring Arbor College. It didn't take very much longer for me to realize that working in Adoption was in my future. I was passionate about it, I knew first-hand the amazing impact it has on people and it fit well with who I was as a person. I spent the next few years preparing for that career, and assuming it would be far-off down the road. I wanted to have kids and be home with them and figured it would all eventually fall into place.

Have you ever questioned the timing of things? Do you ever struggle to know if your timing is off? I have been questioning timing this past week. Mostly questioning if I am forcing my timing and not seeking God's timing. I've always tried to seek His will in making decisions, but I think it is human nature to impose your own desires into the outcome.

We are, once again, facing a big decision. The lead-staff position at the adoption agency has been brought to me again for consideration. This time it feels different. I am questioning the timing...why have I been presented with this option four times in the last few years? I'm not seeking jobs for myself right now, the opportunities have been placed in my lap. Each time before, we felt that it was simply not the right time for our family. This time, we are considering the reason for the timing a little more intensely. Have I been so focused on MY timing...being with the kids, getting Paige into Kindergarten, simply feeling like it would come again when the time was right? What if I am missing the timing God has planned for us and this job is part of it?


I am still not 100% sure the timing is right for me to take the position, but I sure can say that I have a deep sense of peace about pursuing whether or not this is God's timing. I have been praying for a year that things would change for us. That doors would open and we would be able to have peace about the direction God is sending us. I'll be honest...I assumed the answer to those prayers would come in the form of a new job for Mike or changes in his career path. I didn't (and still don't) want it to be for me. I am totally content being home with the kids and have no desire to change my path right now. But, what if God does? What if His timing and His plan mean that I will need to be the person making drastic changes...OUCH!


The honest truth is that I know God created me to do Adoption work. He gave me a heart for these hurting families and the unborn children in need of hope. If I have to work, there is no other career I would want to be in. If I am working, that frees Michael to pursue his career. We aren't sure how that would all pan out yet. He may take some classes, he may work a part-time job, he may be home with the kids full-time...still lots to consider.


At this point, things are very much up-in-the-air!! I have made my boss aware of my intention to apply for the position. They were beginning the process of interviews with two other applicants, and I am not sure where they are in the process. I share all of this tonight not only to keep you involved in our daily life, but to also ask for prayer. Pray that we would clearly know the direction God wants us to go. Pray that the little details would fall into place quickly, if this is in fact what He would have us do. Pray that the sense of peace we have had the past few days will grow even stronger if it is His will.


A friend at church told me months ago that when the Holy Spirit wants you to hear him, he will make it happen, even if that means keeping you awake at night. So, after fighting it Thursday night I finally got out of bed at midnight to spend time in the Word. This is the verse I read within the first minute...

"The one who calls you is FAITHFUL

and HE WILL DO IT!"

1 Thessalonians 5:24

I know that God has called me to work in Adoption, and I know that He is faithful to make that happen...now it's time to decide if His timing means NOW!