The past few months I have been so burdened for people. It seems like almost everyone I know is struggling with some major life issues. From marriages that are falling apart, children that are truly sick, finances that don't cover the budget, health that is failing, jobs that are non-existent...SO much!!! Sometimes when I truly think about the situations so many of my favorite people are facing, along with my own burdens, it seems too much to bare.
I try to be an optimistic person...to always seek out the positives, even when they are few and hard to find! Especially with our current situation, I have been intent on seeking the positives. I don't feel worthy of complaining or questioning, because we made the choice to move. We made the choice to leave our jobs and pursue a new journey. There are things I love deeply about being here...the ocean, the warm weather, experiencing a new set of family living close...a clean slate. At the same time, I can't ignore the reality that this is not at all what I had in mind when we made the decision to move. Things are just not falling into place. But even with the uncertainty and the constant wondering what we do next, there is a strange peace. I could never explain it in words, nor would anyone understand how there is peace amidst the storm. We felt very strongly when we chose to move that it was what we were supposed to do...couldn't explain it and didn't know why, but all we had laid before the Lord seemed to reaffirm for us that we were to leave our comforts of "home" and begin a new journey. I never would have done it had I known that the journey would leave us unemployed for 6 weeks, or wondering how we will buy presents for our kids for Christmas. But sometimes that's just it...if we knew the obstacles that would come along the way, we may never get on the ride! Some people live that way...simply avoiding life because it may be painful or disappointing.
Somewhere, often hidden within the chaos of our lives, there is a peace and a comfort that only comes from acknowledging that we...simple fallen humans...are not in control of every aspect of our lives. We may create amazing plans and have everything set in motion for where we are headed, but we can't control the ride or the outcome. People get sick, relationships fail, the end result is not always what we had hoped for or planned on. But we have a loving Father who wants to carry us every step of the way. One who knows the pain and suffering we each face in these earthly situations. I am learning and growing so much as a result of our current status. I would not have requested the details of it, but I am clinging to Jesus every step of the way. I am surrendering daily the thoughts and plans that I have, in hopes of seeing what His are for me. I am holding on to that unexplainable peace and trusting that He will continue to teach me, to guide me, to comfort me...like no one else can do. I am not expecting him to fix things...to work a miracle and make it all better. All I am expecting is that He will be faithful. That He will remain constant when life is so frazzled. That He will remain the "North Star" of my compass while we navigate the path we're on.
11 years ago
3 comments:
The two of us make quite the pair, don't we?!! Comfort is over rated, living on the edge is where it's at, or at least so I tell myself! Greg's response it to go serve others, it will make our momentary troubles seem dim in comparison. If I liked people more maybe that would be a good idea, lol! As long of the Ghosts of Christmas don't start visiting me I am good!
oh, it felt so good to read this. and makes me so much more appreciative. hugging my family tonight. it's a chili and fireplace night. xoxo thank you for this.
Another beautiful post! I am reminded of Steven Curtis Chapman's song, "It's all yours, God". We are and have nothing without Christ and he knew what he was getting into when he came into this world.
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