Making an effort {on the blog and in life}

For the sake of my family many hundreds of miles away, I realize I need a bit more discipline in my updating of this blog. Either that, or some extra time in my day but since I ask for that often and never get it...I suppose I have some work to do.

I'm pretty certain I am in the longest stretch of time not seeing someone from my family since our move in 2008. Mix that with the many family memories connected to this time of year and Easter...I'm homesick. I could go on for a lengthy post, but I will leave it at that and acknowledge that our planning for a summer trip North could not go fast enough.

I've mentioned *many* times on here about my struggle for balance. Sometimes it's balancing the chores of home vs. work. Sometimes it's balancing the priority of church vs. daily life stuff. Sometimes it's simply balancing the needs of three children who all need, deserve and are worthy of more time than I have to give. But lately...on top of all of those things, I've been struggling with the balance of need vs. want. Realizing that our society crosses that line frequently and teaches our children that basic needs are absolute and that all the desires of their heart {whether appropriate or lofty} are something they are entitled to. Yet, every day at work I see the faces of children and families suffering. Infants who will only survive if given proper medication and nutrition. Truly orphaned children who deserve a family to love them and meet their every need, yet they are slowly dying as they wait in orphanages around the globe. My heart breaks to see the "norm" in our society becoming the total opposite of what I believe our God desires of us. Meet that with the constant battle of trying to parent for Him...and not for this world. I don't want my children to live the standard of "norm" our society pressures on them. I want them to be burdened for hurting people and intentionaly live differently. And they will only do that if it is modeled for them. So, we are trying to be intentional and find a good balance in the simple daily things of our lives.

The balance thing {along with the homesick thing} was particularly difficult on Easter this year. I am all about traditions. My parents created great traditions for us as children, and we still hold to many of them. But this year, the comercialization of Easter {which is the most foundational event of my faith} truly bothered me. It's not about fancy new dresses...although they are nice. It's not about the size of the meal, or what the Easter Bunny brings you. And yet, when I did a Google search for "Easy Easter crafts" to use in Sunday School, all I found were pages of things relating to bunnies and chicks. NOTHING about the Savior who died and rose again for EVERYONE.

I guess the pain it creates in my heart is necesarry to make an effort to change it.

With all that said, we down played the commercialization of Easter this year. The kids had a small egg hunt at their Nana & Papa's house on Saturday, and they did have a small scavenger hunt with clues on Easter morning. We died all of 5 eggs to give them that tradition. But no hoopla. No new frilly dresses. Lots of discussions about crosses and how heavy they are, what it means to die and come back to life, and why Jesus would willingly walk that path for US. We had a casual dinner at home with friends. It was perfect {although my heart was aching to be with my family as I'm sure they put napkin rings on their ears and retold stupid stories of past gatherings}.

My Dad questioned Samantha's stance in the above picture. What can I say? There are three of them, two of us and a camera. The two "bigs" know the drill. She is 20 months old, very quick, very active and very much intent on doing only what she wants. I was thankful to have a picture with all three in the shot! I can't tell who is growing faster...but I would like all 3 of them to stop while I catch my breath.

I am looking forward to a quick trip to Michigan in a few weeks. Hoping to see some of "my girls" while I'm there. Hoping that being in that state eases a bit of my homesickness, as it is like home to me there. I'm also hoping it doesn't snow. My body would never adjust. In the meantime, we will continue to seek out God's balance for our life, making an effort to be sure the scales tip strongly in His favor and embrace the lessons along the way.

"new" adventure

In the Spring, Michael and I went through Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace University." For those who have done it, you can empathize with what our world looks like today. For those who haven't, it truly is a life changing financial planning program based on the premise that our money belongs to the Lord. For us, the focus was not just about learning how to be good stewards of what we are given and have a good system in place {and become debt free}, but mostly to grow to a point of being able to give to others in the way we desire. We have finally completed Baby Step 1 and are making strides little by little. I admit that there have been many days of frustration. We have chosen that I am the primary wage earner in our home, for now. With that wage coming from a non-profit agency, the budget is tight to start with. I love my "job" and we both feel it is important for the kids to have one of us at home, so the sacrifice is worth it. But when Michael started creating our budget, I was skeptical. We can barely buy milk some weeks without attempting to pay off debt quickly. But we are seeing that when we are faithful in these small things, God is faithful in ALL things!

One of the greatest joys of this journey has been sharing these truths with our kids. We include them in this plan, and they are soaking it up. Christmas was light this year...but they didn't notice. If anything, I think they are starting to get that life isn't about the "stuff"...which is our goal. We want our kids to be compassionate and aware of the needs of others. This has been a great way to incorporate some of those lessons into our daily life.

OH, MY HEART!!!!!! When I see any combination of our kiddos loving on one another, I can't imagine what they would each be like without the other. It seems like their little personalities are molding one another. If Samantha were our first-born, I'm sure she would be a different kid. They all share such unique and loving relationships. There is certainly bickering and sibling stuff, but the love runs DEEP! I love catching these precious moments. Our "little" man turned 5 this week and my mind can't comprehend that! He is such a sweet and loving boy. I can't wait to see how he eventually protects his sisters.

Courtney, 26, South Carolina

I am linking to Kelly's Korner Blog today, in hopes of helping a friend. Courtney is honestly the sweetest girl you'll ever meet.

She is loyal, dependable and honest. She LOVES kids and volunteers her evenings to hang out with mine so I can have dates with my husband.

She works as a Pregnancy Counselor, helping woman make life decisions about their babies. She walks beside them through some very dark moments, providing support, encouragement and compassion in the name of Jesus. She has a calming spirit and can always make you laugh.

Courtney LOVES music and movies...of all kinds! Her movie collection is quite possibly the most random display you have ever seen. Family is important to her! She loves Jesus with her whole heart and moved across the country because she knew it was HIS plan for her.

While she is totally content right where God has her in life, she would love to find God's best for her and build a relationship with a great guy.

Returning...

I'm aware through emails and inquiries that many have wondered what happened to our little family. Sorry...the only excuse is the reality of a working mom with young kids and a desire to spend more time with them than at the computer. Alas...I return {who knows for how long} to affirm that we are alive and well. Above is the most recent {decent} pic of the three together on Christmas morning before heading to worship and celebrate our Savior. We decided that we want to always find a church service to attend on Christmas morning. It was a great way to truly celebrate Jesus' birth and show our children WHY we celebrate on that day each year.

I laugh at myself when I say we are "busy," because we honestly don't do much outside of ordinary life. Our kids are still young enough to be content at home most days and we have yet to join the world of sports practices, music lessons and extra activities. Despite that, by the time the sun sets each evening I am exhausted and feel as though I've run a marathon {which should evoke even more laughter since I can't run to our mailbox}.

We traveled to NY for Thanksgiving, seeing only my immediate and extended family. It was a quick trip and we knew we could not fit the various visitations we would have liked, so we kept it simple. It was PERFECT, except too short and too quick. Hoping to return this summer.

You may not recognize Samantha since it's been so long between posts. She has grown and changed SO much in the past few months. She insists on doing whatever the "bigs" are doing, be it eating, reading, playing, coloring, fighting...she MUST be in on the action and she sees to it.

I realized this week how quickly her development is moving along, almost without noticing. For the others, I could have quoted weight and height percentages, number of words she says, how many teeth and at which month they popped. I can't tell you any of those things for this poor baby. She has quite a few teeth, says quite a few recognizable words {and HUNDREDS we don't understand} and is a healthy size. Part of not knowing is that she is our third and my memory escapes me frequently. The other part is, I've learned that they all do things in their own time. Whether it be physical, intellectual or any other form of developing or learning, they each have their own approach and timeline. I discovered last week that she has enough hair for piggies...and I could eat her up when she has them in...

Paige is plugging along in second grade. The easy transition at the start has brought us to a unique place in the middle of the year, but we are working through it. Her huge heart and sensitive spirit are proving to make for painful situations once in a while, but she is able to verbalize it all and has begun to mature in so many ways. She has always been a spunky girl, which helps her keep fighting. We are looking into some new experiences for her as we seek to find an outlet and a niche for her gifts and talents.

Nathan loves preschool! He is much like his daddy, laid back and carefree. Nothing phases him too much and he can roll with the punches. His teachers tell us he is well loved by classmates. Now if we could just stay one step ahead in keeping clothes and shoes that fit him, we'd be great! We don't get to the ocean often enough this time of year, but cherish the rare January evenings that lend themselves to a beach night. The only bad side is getting us to leave...we all go kicking and screaming from our peaceful spot.

I've become very aware that in my attempt to guarantee Samantha has pictures of herself alone as a child, I have overcompensated and not done so well with pics of the "bigs" lately. So many third borns have complained about not having any pictures of themselves, so I am trying to not let Samantha fall into that category. This year, I will aim for more equal representation. It may be another 6+ months before those pics hit this blog, but my efforts will be there.

And, it begins...

Yet another school year has thrust itself upon us with it's demand for routine, structure and chaos. Although there is something so restrictive and forced about the start of a new school year, it also brings with it the sense of potential and normalcy. A chance to do above and beyond what we did last year and to prove to ourselves we can accomplish great things. The return to a {somewhat} predictable routine always brings with it a few weeks of craziness at our house. And, it begins...

Paige actually started school on August 22...2nd grade to be exact.

We were geared up and ready for our typical "3 week adjustment phase" filled with complaints, excuses, anxiety and many tears. I'm not sure if it is the familiarity with the place, feeling like she has friends or just an overall maturity that has developed over the summer, but Big Sister has proven us wrong...AGAIN! I was purposefully not posting about her amazing start, because I somewhat thought it would jinx me to write how well things were going. But, 3 weeks in I am confident that Paige has shown us all how brave and confident she is. She walked into school on the first day with an entirely new attitude.

She has been blessed with an amazing teacher. She reminds me of my first grade teacher, Mrs. Rogers. What a blessing! We can't keep our supply of books up to date for her, as she insists on reading nightly for long periods of time. Don't get me wrong...I know the day will come when she doesn't want to do her homework or she fakes illness to stay home. I welcome those normal and expected moments of childhood. But I am so peaceful and thankful knowing she is in such a better spot this year. I can't wait to see what this year holds for her.

Today was a huge milestone for our little man. Nathan started preschool today!!

We all went to open house a few weeks ago so he could meet his teachers {the same 2 amazing women Paige was blessed to share a year with in 2008}. Although somewhat apprehensive this morning before we dropped him off, Nate has been ready for this day for a long time! He was so brave and walked into the room as if he had done it 100 times prior. And when we picked him up, he was full of stories and asked how much longer until he could go back.

Tonight our dinner table was overwhelmed with preschool songs we had nearly forgotten about. And my heart was happy thinking about all the new experiences he has ahead of him this year and the potential for friendships, learning and growing. I've always said these big milestones are harder on me than the child. Today, even though I had sadness for how quickly time has brought us to this point, it was Daddy who faced the most sadness. And I was reminded again that although our current family structure may not be normal in our society with a stay-at-home-Daddy and a Mommy who works full-time, it certainly brings benefits. My son has benefited from so much attention and affection from a Daddy who loves him. Their bond is unique and special. {Slight disclaimer on the pictures...it is nearly impossible to get a shot with Nate looking at the camera. He just wont' do it.}
And the youngest of our crew is not going to know what hit her next week when schedules are full-swing and she is an only child every morning. Samantha is growing like a weed and proving to be our spunkiest child. Sweeter than peaches, no doubt. She is on the move at all times. Walking along furniture and taking a step or two when she decides to. It wasn't until I looked at this picture tonight that I realized how quickly she is changing and growing. I see her daily, but when I looked at this picture, I had to look twice. Sometimes when I look at her I still see the little baby girl that joined our family last summer. Not much of that baby is there anymore. Hair has grown, teeth popped through, cheeks are chubbier, smile is even bigger and eyes are brighter. I find myself clinging harder to each milestone with Samantha. Willing the days to slow so I can cherish each stage a bit longer. It never works. They grow and change and I am more amazed at each of them and in love with who they are at every corner. And, it begins...a fresh start with so much potential!

Recently...

I've been reflective. Maybe it's the upcoming Birthday in our house. Maybe it's my excitement about our upcoming trip North. Or maybe it's that yesterday marked 3 years since we began this journey in our "new" home. 3 YEARS!!!

My schedule at work has been crazy, requiring weekend hours, late nights and the need to be creative with the time I have at home. I love the "work" I do...but there are seasons when I struggle to embrace it. After multiple days of explaining to the kids why I had to work late {again}, working straight from 8-5 with no break, or rearranging weekend plans to accommodate appointments with clients it begins to drain me. The joy of my "work" is that it is also my calling and ministry. But that sometimes makes for confusion when the frustration sets in. I pray daily that I can find a balance between work and family. I pray that the Lord somehow redeems the late nights and long weekends away from the kids. I hope they see the value in the "work" I do someday. I hope they learn that God celebrates life and rejoices in the creation of families. It's a constant sorting out for me. I have to compartmentalize and draw clear lines between family time and work time. Some days are easier than others. During these more challenging seasons, I seek the simple things that make life great and try to make the most out of moments.

When I realize how quickly time is passing and {accept} that our baby is quickly moving away from that status, I try to capture life at this moment so I will always remember her at this great stage.She is full of joy and smiles, loves to explore, adores her big siblings and is such a pleasant peaceful soul. Yet...her independence is growing and her desire to express herself is becoming more of a daily reality. Don't let that sweet smile fool you. Baby girl can shake the walls! Exhibit A...Snoops wants to be involved in EVERYTHING and will make that desire known, making meal preparation somewhat challenging, and loud...

And yet, the face is irresistible!!

And now that the biggest swarm of tourists are gone, our beach has become a first choice for evening get-a-ways.

The little man can't see the ocean without jumping in. The above picture is the last time you will ever see Mike without trunks on at the ocean. Nate has very little fear. On this night he must have been swooped under the waves at least 4 times. At one point, after a rescue I asked if he drank a little of the ocean. His response, "No, Mommy. I drank a-YOT of it!" They run and jump until they are about to fall asleep! Sammie Grace is no longer content to sit quietly in her stroller and observe the activity. She MUST be involved. So we brought a huge towel and let her experience the beach. We figured she would sit and observe and take it in. Which lasted all of, umm...73 seconds. Sammie loves her some sand...Mama figured it would sink in eventually. I assumed she would not like it and decide to move on to better things. Nope. Maybe when she gets a few more teeth and can experience the crunch she'll change her ways. But for now, Sammie loves sand!! She'll eat it, crawl with bare legs in it until her chunky knees are red and chaffed...with a smile and shrieks of joy! I can no longer sit peacefully in my beach chair. I now spend the evenings chasing Snoops across the shoreline. Mike and I often have the conversation about how we don't want our kids to take the ocean for granted. How we want them to be in awe of God's creation and the magnitude of His power. We wonder if our frequent visits will make it common-place to them. Hopefully not, but if nothing else, they are blessed with an amazing playground at which to create some great memories!I know finding the balance in life is common for everyone. I appreciate hearing others approaches to the struggle and the creative ways we find to make little moments count. Some days I achieve it, other days I fail miserably. On those days, I hold Samantha Grace a little longer while rocking her to sleep, or read an extra chapter to the big kids at bedtime. We aren't guaranteed tomorrow, so make today the best it can be! It has been quite a ride these past 3 years. Lots of lessons learned {and many still in process}, a few tears shed, massive changes to the plans our earthly minds had in store, incredible joys and blessings, surprises that only God could ordain, new friendships, heartbreak that only God can heal and mostly deeper love for one another and the One who brings balance to my weary soul.

I'm a big girl now!

Something about "7" seems so old to me. More mature, more independent, less childish. We celebrated Paige's 7th birthday last week...multiple times. This is one of my favorite pictures of her many celebrations because it seems to capture her spirit. She has grown so much over the past year. She begged to have a party and the list kept growing. This coming from a once deathly shy little girl who was too scared to have a party. We had to limit her invites due to cost, but my heart wanted to invite every last person she desired because I was so proud of her. She had a remarkable year in first grade and has shown maturity in so many ways.

Timing could not have worked out better. My parents flew in on the 3rd and her first celebration was on the 4th. I feel like we all miss out being so far away, so it was great to have them here for her special day. They were troopers participating in a loud bowling party with 12 little ones!
It was hard to tell who enjoyed themselves more...our kids or my folks! It was fun to hear the shrieking laughter as they played silly games together or the never-ending pleading from Nathan to read another book. I swear Samantha knew who they were and loved all the extra snuggles. On Paige's actual birthday {7 on the 7th!!} she was given the call for dinner. I've trained her well as she chose "The Fancy Restaurant." Otherwise known as the Gulf Stream...my personal favorite. Settled nicely between the inlet and the ocean, it's a little bit of heaven on earth!
Paige, I love your HUGE heart! I love that you take life cautiously, yet enjoy every second. I appreciate your sensitive soul that cares deeply for others. I love your spunk and stubbornness, because it will get you far in life. I have been amazed at your determination this year as you tackled tough situations, but always pushed through to show your strength. Your smile and laugh are contagious, and remind me daily that life is meant to be enjoyed! I am honored and thankful to have the chance to walk this road of life with you. You've had my heart since before you were born and I thank God everyday for choosing us to be your parents. We love you so much!